Monday, December 05, 2005

Batteries Not Needed

Poncho:

Please feed regularly. Please keep hydrated. Proper grooming and cleansing suggested to maintain social acceptance. Appropiate amounts of entertainment are required to maintain a level of happiness. Lack of happiness will lead to unwanted results. Please keep at appropriate temperatures, materials are capable of being added to maintain temperature. Sleep is required. Social interaction is highly recommended. Please maintain proper waste facilities.

Do not kick repeatedly. Do not stab, punction, or inject any foreign object into speciman at any time. Do not overfeed. Do not force any excessive amount of liquid into the digestive track. Do not ignore. Do not clean with chemicals. Do not use as coat rack. Do not allow physically aggressive specimen to interact with others. Do not suffocate. Do not allow to swim without proper supervision. Do not freeze.

If for any reason your speciman is unhappy or lacks the affection you are desiring please contact shipping and a new speciman will be happily sent. If for any reason your speciman becomes unruley and begins to talk back, inject the supplied five vials immediately. If for any reason your speciman begins to produce more speciman please contact humanity control. For any other questions please contact your local human supplier.

-Evad

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