Before

Poncho:

It is odd how your past comes back to haunt you. You can be cruising through the times and suddenly SMASH!! You hit a part of your past. How do you handle these things? It is not like you can change them. They have happened and there is nothing you can do about it.

They always comes back up. One more than others. Should I express joy or regret when our paths cross again? I wonder how they feel? Oh well, I guess I will have to just deal with it.

I try to continue on but my anchor is stuck in a massive clam that continues to clamp onto it with no intension to let go. As if it was protecting a treasure so great that no life could enjoy its benefits for the shear shock of its beauty would cause a sudden electrical impulse that would stop the beating of the heart. So in this cause, is this clam protecting me from what will happen if I am able to move on, or is it holding me back from a wonderful life? I can see her as the pearl in that clam. If it is someone new or someone trapped within my past? I can not tell, I guess I will just have to shout full steam ahead and hope one day I may reach that pearl.

-Evad

Thoughts

Poncho,

Does your life have meaning? Can you keep going on day after day? Do you ever get tired of everything you do? Do you have trouble making up your mind? I do. My mind wonders from one idea to the next. I like to drink. I don't think as much when I do. It is probably not good, but it is easier. Should we always look for the easy way out?

I want to be crazy. I don't want to live a perfect life. I want adventure. I am stuck though. Living a life that is suppose to be expected rather than a life that is unknown. What better suspense is there than that which happens to you that you have no idea might happen? I can't wait to see what tomorrow has in store for me. What will I learn tomorrow, who will fall in love with me tomorrow, who will disagree with me tomorrow?

I am not sure what I really wanted to write about tonight but I did want to write something. Forget all that you know for what you have learn has only been thought of by those before you. You have the chance to come up with something that no one else will ever know. You have the chance to visualize an idea that only you have thought. We all have the chance to create, but not all of us will do this. For we are not what we want to be, we are what we have to be.

-Evad

Antidote

Poncho:

Poison flows into our minds from the world around us. It casts out what is essential. It makes us suffer and makes us evil. For when we are unable to tolerate this poison, simple things become intolerable. Our visions on reality are severely skewed. Our perceptions on the values of life are enveloped. We can no longer see what is truely there.

The beauty of one's soul has long been lost. This is the price of our poison. Beauty has become an ideal. It is solely based on appearance which is portrayed through the vessel of our information age poison. Slowly and surely it will bring us to our end.

The poison has also taken away our imagination, our urge to explore, our desire to think, and our will to live. It engulfs our children. It has decayed our minds. Break free from it, the only antidote for this poison is realizing what it is. All of us have fallen victim to this impurity.

-Evad

Other

Poncho:

I have located the point of my depression. I have determine the soure of my obsession. I have figured out that which drives me. I know of what I can never always have. I am one without the other. A person without a reflection.

You are my inspiration. The source of all my accomplishments. Either if you are by my side or gone from the sight of eyes, you are the one that drives me.

Lost touch, that does not matter. Contact has since decayed, but memories they still invade. Such a radiant complextion. An aura that brings life to all that surrounds. A personality of an angel. You are my everything, someones perfect daughter.

Enjoy your life that lays before you, enjoy the gifts that you deserve, and remember all that you have accomplished. Remember what you do to me, without you...I would of never found my way.

-Evad

Without You

Poncho,

Three years from now I will be dead. No more great nights of drunken glory, no longer will I dream of things to come, or no longer will I be adored by those who surround me. My time has came and past me before I could realize who I am. Now I am only a pile of decaying organic matter.

Every time I enjoy a conversation with my best friend, that is one less conversation we will ever have. After you read this message, there will be one less message for you to read from me ever. Every time you partake in anything there will be one less time that you will enjoy that certain experience.

We live in a world of limited experiences. We go through life thinking nothing of this. Before we know it our kids will be having kids, our beautiful skin will be covered with wrinkles, and our graves will lay before our souls. We are creatures giving a wonderful chance but are doomed with mortality.

Shall you live your life to the fulliest, or will you waste it? Are the things your doing now making you happy or are they slowly killing you? These are some of the question you should ask yourself before you end up destroying your existence.

We are the sons and daughters of the damned. We belong to nothing that is so special. Our existence means nothing. Our souls will be lost forever. Think of evey person in the world, how do you compare? Do you stand out? Will you be remembered? Without you, I am lost. Without you, I am alone. Without you, nothing seems fimilar.

-Evad