Nothing

Poncho,

Revision...it no longer flows within. I cut myself, the reaction wont come to pass. I am empty but it doesn't matter. For there is no problems. There is no inspiration. I have nothing to feed me. I am hungry, please save me. Bring the pain, please someone keep me sane. I need you, until then I will not be living. There is only one thing and it is best described as plain. I shall be waiting in my sea of blue.

-Evad

Self Being

Poncho,

Intertwined into a sea of madness, mind is flowing into the open. High to low then stop, scream go. A puddle forms in an instant, the sea is no more than millions. Always bumping and always changing. Confused is the state conceiving. I am soaked with my own self being.

Quack, quack the duck sings back. A beacon of light in sea so empty. The only solid in state of liquid. So dry my throat cant be quenched. I am burnt by my own self being.

Overcomed by the thirst, I took a sip from the eternal drip. My solid crumbles into pieces, evaporating into the ages. I am lost in my own self being.

-Evad

Dream a little dream of paradise

Poncho,

Within my understanding I can say I belong. I belong to that which I see but could it be possible that, that of me which cannot be seen is more of where I truely belong? I speak of nothing more than existing, not at a specific time or place nor do I mean during a certain timeframe or location. To exist is nothing more than being. A being is considered alive. To be alive is a quality of existing. Death is a state of existence that just catches our eye.

We as humans are drawn to that of destruction. Everyday we are confronted with stories of lifes that are silenced by relating stories of death. To die is to be recognized and to live is to be overlooked. If a person really wants their story or idea to be recognize than death must be incorporated.

I remember a time when death never occured to me. Childhood was a wonderful time, at least for the first decade, you know before the time you are forced to tolerated the workings of the seen world. Tampered out over the months.

-Evad

eine Kuh

Poncho:

In the mist of the unknown lies hope and dreams. Around a metallic pole is a suffering soul shackled, determined to escape. I see this person every day. Could it possible reside in all of us? Are you happy? Those eager to explain are only unwillingly hiding. Now and then, we blindly fall out of this prison, only to realize we are not breathing with our true life's entent. Slowly we roam back to our comfort zone.

Silence, listen to the thoughts within. Is this peace? A cow patiently chews mouthfuls of grass. Slowing swallowing, slowly regergitating, slowly chewing, slowly digesting, slowly existing. It is a the cow, utterly wanting to be pleased at an excruciating fast paste. Long life is never long enough, true happiness shall never be grasped. Always wanting can be our only destination. I love chew. I love to digest. I love to exist. Muy rapido, por favor. Ich bin eine schreckliche Kuh. Presto sarò consumato dalla gente.

Listen, my fingers have fallen off. My mind is nothing but mush. I yearn to have it all, I yearn to no longer exist. I am a being of the unwilling. Hold me up to the light, can you see through? I am empty. Destined to crumble into billions of pieces. Destined to deduce all that shouldn't.

-Evad

Going to die, Going to die, going to die, going to die...

Poncho:

Nothing seems to change. Yet nothing is the same. I have lost my life, the past two years. Can you save me? The answers always no. Hidden in the pity of my own fears. I love but fear. Stronger now then ever before. I am dying to see what could never be. I want you so but others intervine.

I stare upon these 26 letters, looking for a way to telll her how I feel. Nothing can be found, my thoughts and feelings are beyond words. Once again i am bound by my ignorance. I am losing my self awareness. I try to forget but she invades my dreams. Always has she resided. Always and now its beyond what i can bare.


O pearl of all that is beautiful, destroy this mind with your angelic ways. I cant write anymore, love so great that life is fufilled. For with you shall we die, but without the thought of existing will always be. To chose would be selfish, to fulfill our passions would be bliss. Enjoy nothing, dream everything.

-Evad

We exist only to...

Poncho:

To grow only to die. To love only to hate. The shutters are locked, I am trapped within. Let me see, I just want to see. Why have they done this to me? Why do I want more than to just be? I wish upon me the same fate as that of which has befallen you.

To dream only to awake. To see only to be blind. What is really beyond our window, our censored view of perception? What we may find will not be what we search for. Sorrow, dissapointment, self realization can only engulf our senses before we will truely understand.

To die only to live. To cry only to rejoice. I see a world that wants nothing but sadness. I see a world that expects more than what it is. I see the people who want nothing more than what they dont have. I see selfishness, I see jealousy, I see hunger, I see corruption, I see nothing, I see a lost soul of a world without you.

-Evad

Two The Same

Poncho:

Tommorow I will awaken in the same room as the day before. I will be wearing the same outfit and I will enjoy the same sounds. Buzzards hovering in my ears, they are the keepers of my time. My existence is nothing more than humble. For I make no decisions. My fate is seal, for I have recieved my sentence. There is comfort in that. I no longer worry. I am not in control. The lords are now the keeper of my destiny.

Tommorrow I will awaken in the same bed as I will 2 years from now. I will have to get ready for the same job and I will be awoken by the same sounds. Beep, Beep, Beep. The tourment of my own grim reaper letting me know its another day. I exist only to exist. I am doomed by my own free will. My destiny is what I make of it. I constantly have to choose. I am the creator of all that I know. Am I a god? I AM.

My day is full of the same routine. Those with a strong mind do all they can to stay sane. My mind is blank for I am without thought. My disease has been cured. Is it now that I am truely free? Is it within my physical confinement that I will find my utopia? There goes the buzzard it is time for lunch.

My day is full of everything that may. The possiblities are endless. So much to have, the drive is making me go insane. Every idea leads to another. I am plagued by my own self awareness. Can I ever be happy? Is it in the next thing that I can declare mine be that of which brings me peace? Today I feel like eating some lasagna for lunch.

I sit in my room as another day comes to an end. I look through the bars and see exact copies of me. All of me our confined to their very own personal special location. A place that was designed for just me. Crys of sadness and regret fill the air. Evil and corruption creep along the cement floors. The walls are made of the bones of those before me and the ones after me. Here I will always be. Here I see my final resting place.

I sit in my room as the tv's sleep timer goes off. I look through my window and see that there is no one out there but me. Every person, every soul destined to be as confused and mislead as me. Each of me resides in there own special little space. For me and designed by me. Crys of sadness and regret fill the air. Evil and corruptions creep along my wooden floors. The walls are made of bones of those before me and the ones after me. Here I will always be, free to be what I desire, never knowing where I will end.

-Evad